Not So Different: An Analyze-Post Modern-Fourth Wall-Thing of Love
by NoOneImportantHere
Summary: In an effort to not die a meaningless death by freefall caused by a sadistic author, Carl and Celica decide to compare each other's life stories. This can only end horribly!


Due to a random act of aggression on the part of the author Carl Clover was currently falling out of sky at an alarming rate.

"AHHHHHHHH! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!", screamed Carl in his always manly and totally not at all feminine voice, "SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!" Of course nobody could hear the young man currently experiencing freefall, except of course the author who had currently put him in this predicament, so his cries fell on deaf ears. But no one would ever be so cruel as to let an innocent face such trial alone so instantaneously Celica A. Mercury was teleported to Carl's exact location and was falling at Carl's exact speed. Because reasons.

"WHY AM I IN THE SKY?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Celica's first action was of course to panic as one normally does when suddenly experiencing free fall. She then noticed the person falling next to her at the exactly same speed. "WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE AM I?! WHERE'S RAGNA?!" Perhaps because he was in the presensce of a lady or Carl had simply gone insane from terror at his impending doom, Carl responded rather calmly to her completely justified questions.

"Don't know, falling out of the sky, Carl Clover, don't know, and don't know.", said the young puppeteer whose hat was currently breaking all known laws of gravity. "Now that your questions have been answered Miss, pardon me. Ahem. Ahem, ahem. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The boy then returned to his completely rational state of panic. Celica responded equally as politely as Carl had.

"Not at all. My name's Celica by the way. And also AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The two were now screaming in perfect sync with each other in what can best be called a duet of pants wetting fear. It truly was a sight to behold in how perfectly in tune their screams were to each other. If only such a moment could last forever. But alas, the ground had other plans and Carl and Celica had only seconds before they hit the ground and become one big red unrecognizable splat on the ground. To spend your last moments with a complete stranger and without any understanding of the why or how you got there must be truely heart breaking. But that is life and thus with their deaths we learn to truely appriciate the life we are given-

"Wait, hold on a second! We just die?!" Pardon Mr. Clover?

"You can't just write a story just to have horrible stuff happen to us and then kill us off! It's a disservice to our characters and source material!" Excuse me Ms. Mercury? In that moment time stood still and Carl and Celica were currently in an empty white room completely unharmed. They seem to have a problem with me. "Yes we do. Who writes a story that the only thing that happens is we fall out of the sky for no reason and die! That's pointless!" Perhaps pointless is the point?

"That is no excuse to kill us off like that. If your going to do that at least make it meaningful. Give it a bigger reason then just suffer and die!" Alright Carl, I can do that. Moments before there lives came to their end Celica pulled Carl close and took his lips with hers. Their final moments spent in an interlocking kiss. The End. There! Love at first sight, tragedy, deeper meaning, ectera. "Hardly."

"That seems rather out of character. Why are we falling anyway? Whose making Carl and I do this?" Magic. "Magic?" Yep, a wizard did it. A wizard with the power to make people FALL OUT of the sky and FALL IN love before they hit the ground. He's a very specific type of wizard. "Could you please put some REAL effort into your story Mr. Author." Alright, alright. Okay, how about this? As Celica is in freefall her clothes come loose and Carl- "No lemons please." Well I'm out of ideas."How about something with less falling and more smiles." Alright Celica, what do you got?

* * *

Celica and Minerva were playing at the beach. It was super sunny and everybody there had on a happy face. It was great!

"I sure wish Ragna was here Minvera. In fact I wish all of my friends were here!.", said the adorable Celica with a pout to the always amazing and totally wonderful Minerva.

"But Celica, we ARE here." It was him! The most amazing guy ever. It was Ragna! But not JUST Ragna. It was all of Celica's friends from the past and the future! Even Konoe was there, completely OK and happy with Jubei and Kokonoe.

"Hooray! This is the best day ever!" It was. It really was. Then Ragna and Celica got married and had 4 kids names Ragna Jr., Jin Jr., Saya Jr. and Doug.

THE END!

* * *

...

"Well, that was certainly...something." Carl was less then impressed it seemed. "It did have less falling and more smiles I suppose but don't you think it was a little short, Miss Celica?"

"Short and Sweet! Better then falling right?" I still think somebody should die. Maybe Ragna gets hit by a bus on the way to the wedding or your kids die in a horrible accident involving a stapler, an empty shoe box and peanut butter. Yeah, peanut butter. "...What kind of author are you?" Some real fear could be heard in the mage's voice. I honestly couldn't have cared any less.

"How about something with some real depth! Something that everyone will agree with-" Is it a revenge fic involving you and Relius with a hacksaw Carl? "...I was going to call it "Puppets". It would've been great." Maybe next time Carl but we're in the T rating so no violent murder for you. "Can you move the rating up, please?"

"How about something that's doesn't involve Carl or I? How about one with Jin and Tsubaki?", suggested the mage. At least Celica was trying to move the "plot" along, whatever "plot" there was to move along.

"There's too many of those as is. How about Ragna and Tsubaki instead? That's something different."

"A few other fics already did that crack pairing. We need something BRAND new!" Celica then spun around at the word brand, trying to add emphasis to the word for reasons that only made sense to the the ever flighty Celica. Then Carl pushed Celica down on to the bed, that suddenly appeared of course, and began-

"Why are you trying to turn this into a lemon!", screamed the ever tiny and totally not manly Clover who really should not question his all powerful and totally awesome author. "What reason do you have for Celica and I to get intimate? We have nothing in common!" Oh the poor naive Clover. Completely oblivious to all the similarities the two truly had between each other.

"What do you mean Mister Author?", said the ever curious Celica. Carl could only sigh at her desire to understand just what the author, I, was trying to say. Uh, write. Of course the list was rather numerous and in fact could problably be stretched to quite a bit. "Short and Sweet, please." Of course she added a smile at the end. Kill joys, the both of them.

"Hey wait, why don't we just write about how similar Celica and I are? Nobody's tried that yet." Is Carl right? Has no one tried that?

"Better then falling!", chirped Celica.

"It's something new! And the author can finally stop talking to us directly again. Seriously, it's giving me a head ache." Talking to the narrator was truly a trying task thought the little Clover. "Stop calling me little!" Alright, short then. "I'm not short!" You and Celica are pretty much the same size.

"I don't mind being short. I'm happy with myself!" And this is one of the reasons why no one likes you Celica. You're just too nice! You're nice to the point were it's idiotic! "O'well! Everyone's entitled to there own opinion!", said while also adding a peace sign and a rosie cheeked smile. Sigh.

"Can we just get on with this stupid story?" Are you willing to wait for the next chapter? "Will you stop talking to us?" Of course, Carl. "Fine."

Very well!

 **TO BE CONTINUED!**

"You're never going to finish this..."

 **SHUT UP CLOVER!**

* * *

 **Author's Note: This was random and stupid and I have no idea what this actually is. An analyze? A love story? Post modern garbage? I guess we'll find out in the next chapter. And don't worry The Author is not going to be a real character. He'll just add snarky commentary inbetween the actual story. Other then that feel free to review!**

 **Blazblue is property of Arc System Works.**


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